Societal Trends and the Family

Take a minute or two and think about the people you know. Think of your parents and your grandparents. What type of life did they have? How many uncles and aunts do you have? When did they get married? When did they start having kids? How many siblings or cousins do you have? Would you make the same decisions as they did? What are differences in the trends that you see when comparing our grandparents/parents’ generation compared to ours?

When I take a step back and take some time to think about those questions, I do realize quite a drastic change in our generation and the previous generations. My grandparents on my father’s side had 14 kids while my grandparents on my mother’s side had 7. My parents had 4 kids, of which I’m the third. Both grandparents on my father and mother’s sides got married at very early ages, in their early twenties. My parents, however, waited till their late twenties to get married and only started having kids then.

In our Family Relations class this past week, we took a look at a lot of different data and numbers to see what the current trends are in today’s society. We also discussed openly about what the effects of these trends might be. If we take marriage, for example, we can immediately start to see the trends and how it has changed from even just a decade or two ago. I feel like people now tend to view marriage as a burden and as something that is stressful, expensive, and full of uncertainty. They also tend to look at it as a huge commitment, like they would lose their life and will not be able to live it anymore after they get married.

Because of this, a trend that we are seeing is how people wait till they are a lot later to get married. The trends a couple of decades ago indicate that people tend to get married in their early twenties. People nowadays, however, often do not get married until they are in their late twenties (30 for men and 28 for women, on average). This might not seem like a big deal right? Young people today just want to enjoy their lives and finish school, have a good-paying and stable job before getting married. How bad can that be?

One of the most obvious problems this trend is because people are waiting until they are a lot older to get married, they would almost certainly also wait till they are a lot older to have kids. This is a problem because women have certain a “window” to have kids. This varies, but there may be women who might still to have children in their late thirties or early forties but are not able to. There are so many people who waited to have kids but found out they were not able to because of their age. In other words, more times than none, people will regret not having kids than actually having kids.

One of other effects that this trend presents is that people now tend to cohabitate. Because marriage is such a huge commitment and people are “not ready” for it, they would just move in and live with each other before getting married, or not get married at all. They say that this is to get to know each other more and prepare them for a good marriage. Studies, however, have shown that people who cohabitate before getting married a few times more likely to get divorced. Another indirect effect of late marriages is that people have less children today than they did before. In many people’s eyes today, children are considered a financial burden and are just a hassle. In our class on Thursday, we talked about the benefits that having siblings bring. We all agreed that having siblings, and even just having to share a room with a sibling helps mold us into people with better social skills. Growing up with 3 brothers have definitely taught me not just patience and other social skills, but it has also provided me with an immediate and sure support system. I know I can rely on my brothers whenever I need help and if I am going through hard times or challenges in life.

To conclude, I want to make it clear that this post is not to ask people to get married right as they turn 20 and have 10 kids. I do, however, know that families are important and every time I think of the person I am, I link it back to my family and how I was brought up. I would encourage whoever is reading this post to think of how your childhood looked like and think of your future. What do you want your family to look like? What is important to you?