As the week comes to an end, I took the chance to look back on what an amazing semester this has been for me. All the classes have been really beneficial for me and I have learned a lot. I took an Accounting class and a couple other business classes as they are required for my major and I’ve enjoyed them. However, none of those classes or even any other class I’ve taken before has had an impact on me as much as this Family Relations class has. I took this class thinking it will be another easy elective credit for me but I left our last class on Thursday feeling like I really have learned a ton not just for myself, but also for my future spouse and family.

            This week’s discussion was all about the aging family. We have read, learned, and discussed about almost every aspect of the family and marriage. These included anything from dating to marriage to dynamics and boundaries in the family to even communication, finances, challenges, and so much more. This last lesson we had was interesting to me as we know for a fact that every single one of us will go through life, age, and grow old. Just look at our parents, I’m pretty confident that most of them (at least for the students who are in this class) are aged between 40 and 60.

            We often talk about marriage and families as this amazing journey – about finding someone and falling in love, then getting married and going through life, starting a family, working to provide and support each other and raise these young kids. What we don’t see or hear too often is the actual aging process. Life happens and everyone grows old. With age comes a myriad of different problems and challenges like health issues, finances, retirement, grandchildren, etc.

            One of the things I appreciate and enjoyed most about this week’s lesson was the fact that we focused more on the happiness and satisfaction of the journey rather than the challenges, even though they are real and exist. We watched a video on two guys – one playing the piano and the other playing either a cello or double bass. They played a special arrangement of Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” and smoothly transitioned into the famous “Viva la Vida” and transitioning again to finally end with “Love Story” once again. This might seem totally unrelated and not make any sense but if you took the time to watch, listen, and analyze what was going on in the video, like a lot of other things in life, you actually start to see something you’ve never seen before and learn a thing or two.

            First of all, I love music. I grew up taking piano lessons. I would have lessons and practice for hours to prepare for actual piano theory and practical exams so I could get certificates. More than those certificates though, was the appreciation I gained for music. Watching the video, you see the two guys playing in symphony. The two instruments work and sound very different, but when intentionally played together, with a lot of practice, sounded amazing. One complemented the other while not overpowering the other. Their timing was on point, as they would need to know when exactly to play a certain note or scale. They also demonstrated a lot of dynamic and different techniques of playing their instruments. For example, there were great examples of crescendo, staccato, pauses, and so much more for the piano. More than any of the instruments, timing, or technique, they enjoyed themselves. You could see that because of all the time they had put into practicing, they played effortlessly and they enjoyed it. They were sucked into the music and enjoyed every beat and bar of the song.

            This just reminded me of how life should be for each of us. Of course there is going to be challenges and trials every single day of our lives, but that’s just the way it is. If we can just accept that life is difficult, it probably won’t be difficult anymore. This week’s lesson and video just reminded me to look at things through a different lens and know that everything we are going through is like a song that spans for years. It is something that should be enjoyed and appreciated.

              Another wonderful week has gone by which means we’ve had some pretty good discussions along with our lesson. We’ve talked a lot about marriages and relationships in the previous lessons and discussions but this week was really insightful and peaked my interest as it was about parenting. All of us who were born into this world has parents. People may have different and maybe even conflicting thoughts, opinions, and feelings about parents and parenting, which is understandable considering the many circumstances and situations people go through.

            What is parenting? What is the purpose of it? The purpose of parenting is to protect and prepare a child to survive and thrive in the world they will live in. I have mentioned this many times before in my previous blog posts but I strongly believe in the importance of parenting and am eternally grateful for all that my parents have done for my siblings and I. They have been the pillar and support throughout our lives and have always made sure they did their best for us. They may not be perfect but I have been blessed with the chance of witnessing two imperfect people come together and do all they can for their children.

            We learned that when it comes to being effective parents, there are three things that should be focused on which would be beneficial and helpful. They are: response ability, respect, and cooperation. Response ability, as the name suggests, is the parents’ ability to respond to anything the child does. Respect is also something immensely important because a lot of parents tend to think of respect as “I am right and you have to listen to me because I am the adult here” but that cannot be further away from the truth. Respect is something that is earned, not given. This principle applies to parenting too. If parents want to be respected by their children, they need to treat their children with respect and know that they are more capable of a lot more things than they might think. Cooperation is also something that is crucial as a family is a unit. The father and mother of a house may work together, but they are also working together with their children to resolve issues or have good times together.

            Other than that, we also discussed about a child’s needs, the child’s mistaken approach because of the need, and the appropriate parental response. These things are closely related to the response ability of parents that was mentioned above. For example, if a child is in need of physical contact or a feeling of belonging, whether they know it or not, they might take a mistaken approach of seeking for undue attention. This could be dangerous and harmful especially for teenagers. The appropriate parental response to this situation should be to offer contact freely and learn to contribute love to the child’s life. The parents should also be able to teach the child regarding choices and the consequences of those choices.

            Another example is a child’s need or want of power over their own lives. A mistaken approach that the child might take because of this unmet want could be rebellion against anything or anyone. They might also try to control others and want to be the dominant figure in a variety of situations. An appropriate parental response to this scenario could be, but not limited to, their ability to respond correctly to it. This could mean giving the child more freedom to make their own choices, but with appropriate boundaries so the child does not go over the limit and do things they are not supposed to.

            I am so grateful for this week’s lesson as it was extremely insightful and made me realize a lot of things that I saw in my parents’ parenting style. I believe that any success would be overshadowed by failure within the walls of a home. It made me grateful for a lot of things and also helped me make a goal of what kind of parent I would want to be in the future.

            This past week’s lesson and discussions were one of my favorites because it talks about and addresses a very important person in a lot of our lives – father. We live in turbulent and confusing times which are very different from even just 10 years ago. We’ve all heard of and know the traditional father whose role is to go out into the workforce and do whatever he can to earn money so he can provide a roof over his family’s head, place food on the table, provide for temporal things in their lives, etc. The mother, on the other hand, had the traditional role of staying at home and taking care of and nurturing her family.

Today, however, we are hearing more and more about the need for equality and how women should be more empowered, that they deserve to be in the workforce and do not have to stay home to nurture and take care of her children, that men are only goof for making money and he is only going to be worth something if he can earn money, that his worth is directly related to his earning-capabilities. In a world where the unit of the family is as important as it was in the beginning of time but with roles shifting around and boundaries being broken down, anyone would be easily confused and lost.

My biggest takeaway from this week’s lesson was that fatherhood matters, no matter what the situation or circumstance may be. I have been blessed and fortunate enough to have a father a and a mother who work tirelessly together ever since they were married, to raise 4 boys and do their best so we get the best that they can offer. My father has always been my role model and someone I look up to and have high respect for. He did not go to college but had odd jobs here and there. When he and my mother got married. They were poor and had nothing. I remember them telling us about how they took an old cardboard box, flipped it over, and used it as their dining table because they could not afford anything.

My father eventually got a job with an industrial printing company and worked his bottom off to make as much as he could. He eventually got promoted several times and even got a job with a German printing company. Over a decade later he was the manager overlooking all the sales within country. There were ups and downs and he eventually ended up with a Swiss company and became their regional manager who overlooks the Asia-Pacific region. With his hard work and good ethics, together with the support of my mother, he was able to provide a comfortable life for all of us and present us with many different opportunities that have blessed our lives.

Other than providing for us temporally, my father has always presided and is the steward of out family. He makes sure he is there for us when we need him and that he is an example for all of us by treating his wife and our mother well, by making sure that we have good values and ethics, by supporting us and giving us advice whenever we need, by being a prominent and valuable father figure in our home to make sure we are good. He is also a shining example of how to be a good husband. He works together with my mother and uplifts her and making sure that she knows her worth.

I have never once in my life thought that my mother could do anything greater than what she did for all of us over the many years. She, together with my father, have been the reason why the 4 of us boys are the way we are and we owe everything to them. I believe that a father and a mother have the most important roles and when they work together no matter what the circumstances are, they are powerful and have the ability to change the course of their children’s lives.